Midnight Fire
by witchtulle
Summary: "I feel alone. Hm, it's because I am." Sasuke Uchiha. What's inside this complicated character? What birds and flowers and creatures live inside besides what we know? I'm not sure. Maybe someone will help. A friend? A foe? Sasuke loves midnight and LO likes drawing. But they can't be...and Sasuke's fine with that...or is he? Friendship or love?
1. Chapter 1

Midnight Fire~

**Disclaimer: I don't own, sadly, any lovely bit of the anime/manga Naruto or Naruto: Shippuden. Naruto is owned by Masashi Kishimoto and all rights belong to that amazing dude. **

pic via narutofans

Chapter 1: Campfire Tales

_Burn…_

The fire crackles with fury, trying to lick my skin, burn it, char it…kill me.

Kill.

Me.

Kill me.

Someone.

Please.

Have I ever said please?

Yes.

When?

There was a time. Before.

I'm not sure anymore...

Why though? Why am I so...so...so...destroyed? Dying?

_Psychotic?_

Yes.

I manage a small smirk, feeling- do I still feel?-a spark of humor at my conversation with myself. I must really be psychotic. I must be...The fire burns further, the colors dancing inside the reds and oranges and hot, hot pinks. They're colorful. Ethereal. Deadly. Going to consume me. I could burn these woods. I could do that couldn't I? With this mere lump of fire. I could do that so easily. Burn and burn and maybe burning this lush area of woodland will help me. Maybe help my soul recover.

_"Fire Release: Great Fireball Technique!" _I remember my younger, purer self saying. Trying to please the heads, trying to make a mark in the ninja academy. I tried too much. Too frivolously. Even now I've made bad judgments, huge mistakes, and regrets. I wish…I could take all my bad deeds away. Purify myself possibly and make the god- is there god? Hm, haven't thought that one over carefully- who I allegedly believe in, to forgive my sins.

But my hands are soiled in blood and now…now they can destroy. Not create. Not invent. Not help. I'm a criminal. I'm an orphan. I'm a murderer. I'm in the dark, living in the cold shadows of your lightness. I'm _nothing_. My face is a blank canvas that people think is a sign of regality, handsomeness, and pureness. I'm nothing of that. I'm the person who wields that fire and burns and burns and burns till everything is gone. Ev-ery-thing.

I stare blankly into the fire, consumed by its endless possibilities of destruction. _How can I hurt you with this?_ I think to myself, glazing my-unique, you could say-eyes over it. Instantly I see, I imagine, people being charred and burned. Their skins are sticky and melting and merging with one another to create demonic looking beings, clawing their way as if zombies. Closing my eyes stops the thoughts, it lulls the nightmares away.

Have I mentioned that yet? No. Okay. I have nightmares a lot. They like to creep into my mind and when I awaken I feel like I'm holding the head of another victim. I'm always warm, drenched in sweat, panting like I'm running. _But it's a dream you idiot_, I tell myself. Just a dream. Just a dream…

Other times my sleep filled nights are soft, and surprisingly pleasurable. I see…people I once knew. People that meant a great deal to me. Everywhere…Sometimes they shush me like I'm an insolent child and other great times they pat my head, touch my skin as if I'm cold. They always seem different. Always…

_Things never stay the same._

True.

_So don't bother…_

I guess.

_Hm._

I'm talking to myself again. That's not good. I get up from the rock I've been sitting on and breathe out through my nose calmly. I'm trying- do I even try anymore? - to not disrupt this peaceful feeling.

A breeze blows through the woods I'm in, rustling the trees, implementing an owl to hoot its call, its codes. I crush a twig under my foot and hear the wind whistle. Like it's saying to stop and be quiet; don't intrude my woods.

"Nande?" I say to myself, just below a whisper. "Nande?"

Why, I said. Why? The questions cram my brain and soon I'm staring at the sky for its otherworldly answers. Please…answer them for me…someone. Why is it so hard? Why?

_Stop being so weak!_

I snap away from my thoughts, from my own pity and touch the back of my neck. Something cracks and I let out a small sigh, bite my lower lip and start walking into the woods.

"Should I leave you there?" I ask the fire that burns like it's alive. "Hm?"

It crackles wildly and in my mind I can tell that the personification I gave it is silly and childish. I muster the smallest of smiles and place my hands up for the fire technique.

"Katon-!" I stop short, feeling the fire in my lungs, burning in my throat. I let out a miniscule fire ball and it burns the twigs I stepped on, burns the grass. The fire blazes on. "Waste of time," I say. "Not today."

I grasp the feel of chakra in my feet, feeling it in my toes and heels. It springs through my feet all the way up to my head and before I know it I'm jumping through the trees…back to home I guess…


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **

**I don't own, sadly, any lovely bit of the anime/manga Naruto or Naruto: Shippuden. Naruto is owned by Masashi Kishimoto and all rights belong to that amazing dude. Also I'm sorry for not posting in a long time. Enjoy : )**

**Chapter 2: Effigy **

"Why exactly do you wander away?" he says as I enter the vicinity. "Hm? _Sasuke_?"

I imagined that I was at home as I flew through the trees, basked in the smooth air. Everything in my mind rearranged into my sweet compound with that little table in the middle of the kitchen; the laughter of my mother and yet also her scolding voice; my elder brother's mischievous smile; my father's dull tone of disapproval; and then myself-

"Are you going to answer me?"

"I was out _Madara_. You stick your nose in your own business," I say, my tongue vicious.

He chuckles. "Tell me. Does it help your loneliness when I tell you that _I_ am the last Uchiha you'll ever meet?"

I snarl but compose myself as I stare him in the dark of his eyes. "Tell me. Do you enjoy the fact that you waste whatever horrible seconds left in your pathetic life watching over me?" I smirk. He stays quiet and I know the conversation is over. "Good night."

So…sleepy…uh…

How horrible. I stiffly stretch and then turn to my side to rest. The bed is hard as stone and the pillows don't help at all with the fact that they're from some old side shop Zetsu managed to find.

_Home sweet home, huh?_

You again?

_I am you, have you forgotten?_

I dream of festivals…weird. Only been to those minimally when I was young…didn't quite enjoy it at all unless…

"Sasuke? Sasuke. Sasuke. Wake up dear."

"Na. No Kaa-san. No," my younger self said, pulling my green dinosaur closer to me. "Too sleepy." I pulled the warm comforter over myself.

My mother persisted. "Have you forgotten? It's the Sakura Festival today."

"So?" I whined.

"-So…Itachi is home."

On that I instantly sprung out of the covers, jumping out of the bed. I ran to my small bathroom and slammed the door shut.

She giggled. "Sasuke? What are you-"

I opened the door quickly. "I'm getting ready for my day with Nii-san. Thank you for waking me up," I said, bowing swiftly and then entering the restroom. "Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Must not be late!"

I brushed my teeth in quick motions, pretty much forgetting altogether of deodorant and showering. Slapping water over my pale face woke me more than I already was. I mean a day with my brother; I had thought- what better a day? I ran out quickly-my mother still perched by my bed, puzzled- and entered the living room.

"Uh, Sasuke?!" she said. "Sweetheart the carnival doesn't start for another three hours. Did you brush your teeth?!"

"But I don't want to be late- Good morning father-" I bowed as he walked by. "Yes I brushed them…Where's Nii-san?!"

Someone yawned softly. "Oh dear is something on fire?" a sleepy voice said.

I turned around, holding my "doll" in my hands, squeezing it extremely tightly. And in the doorway to Itachi's room was the man himself, clothed in his pajamas. He rubbed his eyes, giving me a goofy grin. He had been off on a mission for over a week, escorting a very important spice maker. Apparently the mission had gone array and it had taken longer than expected to return to the Leaf.

"Nii-san. You're home!"

He placed a hand on his hip, leaning on the doorway. "Good morning Sasuke." I rushed over and bowed. "Looks like you're still with your _nuigurumi_."

I blushed lightly, pushing my stuffed dinosaur behind my back. "Uh- yeah. I mean- no! I don't play with dolls."

"Hm. Ha-ha," he laughed, tousling my hair. "A shinobi mustn't have idle possessions brother, it comes as an obstacle."

"I know but-" I stopped short, possibly pouting.

"Don't worry," he said, petting my little dinosaur. "He can stay. So long as he doesn't get in between our training for today-"

"Wa-! We're going training? Really?!"I said excitedly. "What time?"

"Sasuke…don't bother your elder brother. Manners. You must respect him. He's been away for a while. Let him rest," my father said from the kitchen.

I nodded. "Yes sir." And stared at my feet sheepishly.

Itachi messed my hair again and bent down to my ear. "Noon, right after the festival."

We shared a mischievous smile and nodded to each other…

"Festival…hm," I say to myself, musing as I drift off into a dreamless slumber.

There's no fan in my room, the ceiling a dull black. The floor is black as well, charcoal-like that makes your feet darken; the only splash of color is the white linens making up my casket, bed. The door is all locks and chains, when needed, with complicated spirals made for seals. A small dim light, broken slightly, hangs from a fixture directly above me. It's dangerous really…quite, quite dangerous.

"Hyah! Yah!"

I had thrown two kunai into an oak tree, amber leaves lightly falling from the branches. A messily made target was pinned to the tree, kunai and shuriken marks bruising it. Despite the bold red target that stared at me in mock pity, which fooled me multiple times into throwing the nindo weapons in absurd directions; I still had pestered my elder brother into helping me perfect my skills. I was to become a glorious ninja and bad aim wasn't going to stop me.

"Aim higher and fix that stance," my brother said, watching me intensely as we had trained that day in the forest.

"Hai!" I said and made the corrections, seeing the target… "Yah!"

_Tuck! Tud! Tud!_

Surprisingly the kunai hit the center of the target perfectly, letting wood splinter through the crack. I gazed in astonishment, panting hard, and sweat staining my upper lip. I could feel the perspiration all over my back…

"I-I did it. I did it. Nii-san-! I did it!"

He nodded, arms crossed over his chest. "Indeed you did. Good work little brother."

I panted harder, feeling my heart lumbering madly in my chest, my knees so weak it hurt. But I didn't care. No I didn't. My Nii-san said I did 'Good work'.

"Arigato Nii-san…for helping me train. Can we-can we continue?" I asked.

"Come here."

I walked over, my knees peppered with dirt and bruises and cuts. My hair stuck to my face from the sweat and heat. He kept a small, brotherly smile on his face, one hand on his narrow hip as he waited for me to come over.

"Itai-!" I blurted in slight pain as my elder brother poked my forehead…like he always did.

"Yuruse Sasuke…next time."

"Aww. Fine." I pouted as we walked back home to get ready for the Sakura Festival.

The sun was slowly going down and the Sakura Festival had already started long before but my brother insisted on fulfilling my wishes to train. Even though I'm sure he would probably rather have spent his evening reading a good book or meditating…he did it for me. He did it because he loved me.

"Itachi-san…"

"Nani?"

"Gomen.


End file.
